To change and be changed
In times of crisis there is change, not always, but very often. We are reluctant to changing and therefore need something to push us into a changing mode.
My change from a demanding and kind of limiting life in the hotel-business to an unpredictable and exiting life as a hotel consultant and yoga instructor is often met with remarks as: How brave of you, how do you have the guts and how wonderful! And this is true. It is brave and I am taking risks and it is wonderful.
BUT reaching this point has been initiated from crisis, from being forced to really consider the life I am living, from having to deal with unpleasant and hard situations and to realize that I can make choices.
This blogpost is written to give a more nuanced picture of the journey that has led me to this point, which right now is a sun lounger in Halmstad, Sweden.
Two times over I have been stressed out for so long that I burned out. Tried to fix everything for everyone, scared of failure and totally deaf to all the messages my body was sending me. Two times in life where the feeling of having no way out and being without options was overwhelming. When nothing seems fun or inspiring.
In these situations the words that the wise man Björn Natthiko often used are so comforting and precious: THIS TOO WILL PASS.
Regardless if you are feeling great and on top of everything or if you are way down in despair this too will pass. When you are way down you can find comfort and if you are feeling great it is a soft reminder to enjoy the present.
We can all make choices. Some choices affects us deeply in many different ways and has consequences for yourself and others. Other choices are small and can contribute to bigger changes in the future.
I remember that one way to give myself the possibility and courage to change was to do something different every day, try something new and unknown. By walking in a new direction (literally), going to a new place, seeing and getting to know someone new. An experiment that in the long run helped me to get back my curiosity, inspiration and excitement for life.
To change and break old patterns can often meet resistance because of the uncertainty of dealing with something unknown. But the feeling of being without options and ability to make choices is so unpleasant. To prove to yourself that it is possible to change and that you have options is on the other hand sooooo nice.
I often think of the apathy I felt, especially when I find hundreds of things that I would like to do!!! What a great feeling it is to be full of ideas opposed to not wanting to do anything at all. Even if only a few percent of the ideas become reality it is still so wonderful to have this curiosity and joie de vivre.
Don´t get me wrong, there are days that the apathy reenters my life. Every day is not full of joy. There are still days of lethargy where the willpower has hidden somewhere. But it is OK! Feelings of different kinds are all ok.
You are a human being
We are living in a "doing-society" full of human doings. Many of us end up becoming what we do. We are measured in terms of our achievements instead of who we really are. Shame on us!
We are so much more, all unique human beings. There is no one like you in the whole wide world. You are amazing! I am amazing!
To change and being changed
On my way I found out what I really want. Eventually I started to listen to my body as well as my soul = gut feeling and made choices that makes my eyes sparkle and my joie de vivre thrive.
Eventually I have accepted that all my feelings are welcome and that they exist because of my experiences and reality. Our memories do not only exist in our head and thoughts, they live in our body as well. Both the good ones and the bad. Fear keeps us from daring, the security of knowing what you have takes command.
But if you allow yourself to listen to your inner feeling you will know which way that is yours.
My way right now is to spread the knowledge about Sensing Yoga as one tool to find your inner strength and your inner smile. I do this by hosting sessions live as well as online. And by hosting Sensing Yoga Retreats! Öland, Sweden (August 2022), Burgau, Portugal (September 2022), Italy (May 2023) and hopefully France (autumn 2023).
When will I see you?